Spaghetti Squash Boat, or Boat Full of Botulism?

I made this.

I pooped a lot afterwards.

Like, the next morning.

I didn't feel sick or anything, but still.

So, I really want to like broccoli because I know how good it is for you (OK, not really -- I'm just repeating what I've heard), but the reality is, after 44 years of trying, I'm just not a big fan of the taste.

Sorry, bro -- it's you, not me.

Another thing that doesn't help: cruciferous veggies make you fart, and if you're going to wake up with gas pains at 2AM, you should have had some enjoyment ingesting the broccoli in the first place.

I'm not against all cruciferous veggies, by the way. I do like cauliflower.

So I'm thinking I might like this recipe better with some other green veggie, like asparagus or peas. Would that work? LOL I have no idea.

Anyhow, I had to watch this YouTube video about a half a dozen times in order to cut the spaghetti squash, and even then, I had to improvise a little.

And no one warns you in the recipe how long it takes to scrape out the smelly gunk and seeds (just shy of forever, for the record). I associate the smell of squash innards with Halloween. Anyone else?

The recipe called for -- wait for it -- crushed red pepper flakes. Seriously, EVERY RECIPE I come across has this ingredient in it.

Oh, I forgot to mention I went to the market Saturday afternoon (which is when I planned on making this dish) to pick up some groceries INCLUDING BROCCOLI, and, of course, I forgot the broccoli.

So then I spent two hours debating whether to go back for the broccoli. I did, because I figured I'd never make the dish otherwise and the spaghetti squash had already been sitting on my table for 1.5 weeks or so and I had also been debating about just throwing it away because what's the point of anything anymore?

But I schlepped back to the store for broccoli, spent a year cutting the squash, a decade scraping out the innards. I ate around midnight.

The recipe promised that one half would be filling enough, and this turned out to be true, and even before the pooping commenced, I was kinda eyeing the other squash-half the way you do during a sketchy first date when you know you're never going to talk to or see that person again despite saying at the end, "Sure, yeah, we can do this again." I was saran-wrapping this sucker and was like "Yeah, I can eat this for lunch tomorrow," but it's two days later, and there it still sits in the fridge, and I have no desire to touch it. It's got a one-way ticket to the rubbish chute tomorrow or whenever I empty the trash next.

Despite this less-than-glowing review, I might actually try this recipe again. I mean, having a go-to veggie dish when you're constipated is not a bad thing to have in your rotation, but even beyond that, it tasted OK going down, minus the broccoli, but as I said, I plan to remedy that by using something else.

Can you tell this cooking thing has just about broken me?

Why should it be different from anything else in my life?

#reality