Mind Games with Vegetables - Let's Play!

So I've been writing this blog in virtual anonymity for the last three months. I'm a full-time writer (copywriter by day, novelist by night), so I'm quite used to people reading my work.

I have to say it's been liberating writing without anyone I know reading this here site.

That ended last week when a friend of mine stumbled on it by way of a buried link on my Google+ profile.

This friend is an excellent writer and reader. I'm always a little nervous when he reads my stuff, because I respect his opinion and because he won't say he likes something just to be nice (which I appreciate).

Luckily, this blog did make him laugh. I've since told my BFF about it. My BFF is a great cook (and loves doing it).

And since then, something funny has happened: they've both started talking about various cooking challenges/annoyances, which is funny to me, since I've always viewed both of them as definitely more on the side of Smarty Pants Chefs than Idiot Cooks.

Now let me be perfectly clear: they are NOT Idiot Cooks. They have their shit together on the cooking front. But the fact that they can identify with what I'm writing is, well, unexpected. In a good way.

Anyhow, my friend who discovered the blog told me he has an artichoke problem. He keeps buying them, but then he forgets about them and they go bad.

I nodded virtually (this was over IM) and lamented about The Drawer of Good Intentions, otherwise known as the crisper in the fridge where good vegetables often go to die.

He said after the third time it happened, he put the newest artichoke in the door of the fridge, instead of The Drawer of Good Intentions. You know, so that he'd see the damned artichoke mocking him every time he opened the fridge, reminding him that it needed love and attention. (I'm paraphrasing here.)

Still no luck. It died a gooey death.

Or however artichokes die.

Moral of the story: do not play mind games with vegetables. IT DOES NOT WORK.

(Side note: I don't think I've ever eaten an artichoke that wasn't part of some sort of appetizer dip mixed with spinach. I can picture one, but I wouldn't have the first idea what to do with it.)

As for my BFF, she agreed with me regarding my article poking fun at the Easy Homemade Potato Gnocchi.

Then, we went on to have this fun exchange via Facebook Messenger:

HER: Have you ever caught the cooking show on NPR?

ME: Nope. I will check it out.

HER: It's like fancy detail shit that even I can't deal with.

ME: That will never be me.

HER: People call in and ask questions about the fluffiness of their shoodlefliggin pie.

ME: These are the people who give liberals a bad name.

HER: And then they discover that they were putting the milk with the sugar at too high a heat and at the wrong phase of the moon.

ME: lol

HER: And life becomes good again.

This is why we're friends.

Also, "shoodlefliggin" is my new favorite thing.

I WOULD MAKE A SHOODLEFLIGGIN PIE.

Even if it had a zillion steps.