New Year's Resolutions for an Idiot Cook: 2017 Edition

Right now, the measure of my culinary success is this: I don't get sick or die after I cook something.

Extreme, but 100% true.

I don't cook for anyone else right now, because it's too nerve wracking.

But my goal is to change all that in 2017. 

That's the overarching theme: The Year of the Unpuke.  

Goals:

1. Have a bunch of "go-to" meals that I feel confident making and other people eating. Meals may or may not involve fowl or beef. #icanjustexpectsomuch

2. Breaking it down further: 2-3 breakfasts, 2-3 lunches, 2-3 dinners, 2-3 potluck/cookout foods, 2-3 funeral foods, 2-3 slow cooker recipes. (We shall not discuss grilling.) 

3. Master the art of freezing. Listen, I know what some of you are thinking: what's there to freezing? You put the food in a thing, pop it in the freezer, voila. 

No, no, no! I have questions:

• What sort of "thing"? What sort of container thing? What sort of plastic bag thing?
• Is there a technique to bagging for the freezer? Ditto containers?
• What sorts of foods freeze "well" and what don't?
• WHAT DOES "FREEZING WELL" EVEN ME? Is it possible to suck at freezing?
• And you can't talk about freezing without discussing thawing. What are the best thawing techniques? I suspect it depends on the foods (soups, meats, casseroles).
• Let's talk about heating up that shit. Let's say you successfully freeze a casserole. Let's say you successfully thaw it. WHAT THEN? At what temperature do you "heat it up" and for how long?

See? Lots of questions. It's not as simple when you stop and think about it. (Yes, I have no life. Tell me something I don't already know.)

4. Casually cook for someone like it ain't no big thing. LOL. I know this will never happen. It will ALWAYS be a big thing, I think. But! I'm thinking if I can get comfortable to the point of faking I'm OK with it...

5. By the end of the year, feel I can look over my pantry and whip up something easily and with confidence and without death or illness.

6. Maybe always have fresh basil in the house. 

MAYBE.

Want to know a secret? I don't feel weird about desserts and baking. I grew up making Nestle Toll House Cookies. I don't see myself making a soufflé or flambé or seven-layer cake or anything like that. I'm never going to be the Christmas Cookie Chick, either. I'm OK with this. I don't feel bad about this. I get baking. I can follow a recipe.

But cooking? Different beast, one I want to SLAY.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FELLOW FRAIDY CAT COOKS!